A morning television reporter told us that Prince William "almost accidentally beaned Kate" when throwing (bowling?) during their cricket fun in New Zealand.
What was actually told to us by this sentence construction? Well, the real meaning of the wording, taken literally, was that Kate got hit on the head (bean) by the ball William threw and it was questionable as to whether he meant to hit her. We could hope it was an accident, but the report was that it was "almost" an accident. So subliminally, William must have wanted to hit Kate on the head. It would have been so simple to say it correctly by merely placing the "almost" just after the word "accidentally" rather than before it.
Misplaced modifiers are rife within the English language. In fact, in one case - the use of the word "only" - the norm is to place it in a sentence completely incorrectly and to confuse the meaning of what is being communicated. Oddly enough, the traditional misplacement of the word "only" is so ingrained in our daily conversation that any attempt to correct the malady would probably cause more confusion than would the continuation of the abuse! (James Thurber advised to leave it alone!)
Consider this construction of the lyric of an old favorite song: "I only have eyes for you." What that wants to say is that "my eyes won't wander to the ogling of others" (or something similar), but what is actually being said is that "my lips are not for you; my nose is not for you; my thoughts even, are not for you. No, it's only my eyes that are for you!" We would hate to see the lyric line changed to properly express that "I have eyes for only you" because that would require a total adjustment of the musical phrasing. But wouldn't it be nicer if our intended communications were literally saying what we feel?
Here's another popular one. A more recent musical offering, this one from Fleetwood Mac, features this "hook" line in two phrases: "Thunder only happens when it's rainin'; players only love you when they're playin'." Of course, poetic license allows the completely erroneous statement that thunder has to have rain along with it. That's patently false, but we allow it easily as a musical notion. And in that sense, no music that becomes popular can be terribly criticized; it did, in the face of terrible odds, become popular! Now, that first phrase, while having the "only" modifier misplaced, doesn't cause a notable change in the meaning (which is still the totally false statement anyway!) But the second phrase, with the "only" placed where it is, purposely mirroring its placement in the first phrase, totally destroys the meaning the writer wished to convey.
"Players only love you when they're playin'." - Wrong! Sidestepping any extensive philosophical discussion of the meaning of "love," it is still just a badly worded statement. A "player" (insincere, get-what-you-can-get-at-any-expense kind of person) will not "only" love you; he will also hate you, and hurt you, disrespect you, abuse you, deceive you, etc., etc. What the words actually mean to convey is that a "player" will "love" you only when he's playing. Then he will move on and it won't surprise anyone if both parties know going in that he is a "player."
What I find fascinating about this particular song lyric is that unlike the first song example above, this is one of those that COULD have been written with absolutely proper arrangement of the modifier and still have been very singable. In fact, I enjoy singing it that way in my head, and I think it might have improved the original to have placed the words in the correct alignment for clear meaning. Try it in your own head (if you can recall the tune at all): "Thunder happens only when it's rainin'; players love you only when they're playin." The word "only" in this arrangement actually can become much more of a tilting point in each phrase - a fun word to emphasize twice - not to mention (which I am going a lo - o - ng way to mention) the words now clearly state the idea the song was meant to get across.
I could go on and on, but then, I already have! Check out more if interested.
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