With respect to Dickens, I decided not to use "Great" in the title line. Just expectations - that can be enough to drive us over the edge sometimes. And be critical or judgmental toward others.
Another week has rolled by since my last post, and it's the Labor Day weekend already. End of summer. That's really the way most people see Labor Day, just the signal that summer is ebbing, school is starting, or has already in some areas, white clothing will now not be "acceptable" in some circles until next spring. At least this is what I hear. But actually celebrating labor on this weekend? Perhaps a few will remember to do that. Probably more in Wisconsin will consider the implications of the day more than people might elsewhere; they just had to fight the ludicrous governor there to keep some union rights. Say what you will, our nation would have few of its greatest successes and fewer individual rights today if laboring folks had not unionized and fought the abuses of industrialists more than a century ago. And the fight today is possibly as arduous as it's ever been.
Labor deserves its special day, so I hope some of us raise a toast, sipping our iced tea, beer, lemonade or other beverage of choice, during gatherings over the holiday called "Labor Day." Please recall, we wouldn't even have "weekends" in this society were it not for labor unions!
But to my point: we tend to have expectations of others in our small circles of influence. And many times, perhaps in more than half of our experiences, we are not satisfied in our expectations. Part of living among others (simply put, society) is the need to balance ourselves within that framework of satisfaction vs. disappointment. Personally, I find it best for my equanimity to watch for the counter-balancing offered to our notice. Over this holiday weekend my wife and I are privileged to have our kids and grandson visiting. The time spent in watching a little boy grow up and beginning to recognize his world and himself - priceless! I had to bow to the desires of a client and go out yesterday to show a property again (fourth time) and then to write the purchase offer; my Saturday time with my offspring was reduced by over four hours to deal with business. No one blamed me for taking that time, but I am fairly sure it was disappointing to a degree for someone. Was to me! But we all know some things need to be done, even when they are inconvenient.
Golfing with my son and grandson is one of the great delights of my life. Jack, at five, is already able to hit the ball farther than some of my local friends can. Of course, like labor, these folks deserve recognition; they are in some cases over ninety years of age and still going out on the golf course and enjoying themselves.
Anyway, a few minutes ago on a gorgeous Sunday morning with the fairway beckoning from just outside our back door, I asked my son if he would like to get an early round of golf in, but he was more content to sprawl on the couch in a slow morning climb back to wakefulness. Our bio-rhythms have never been in sync. I tried for many years to get my growing boys to join me at sun-up on the first tee but they never could stir themselves into active living until late morning. So I appreciated the good things they did with their time later in the day and they watched me turning in exhausted by eleven PM when they were beginning new projects. If I ever expected them to handle their day/night schedules in a fashion similar to my own, I would have been always disappointed. I had to be the "adult" and accept the differences, complimenting their strengths while accomplishing what I could within my own strengths. It's still this way.
My expectations for my sons and grandson are that they will make life happen as they see fit and in a way that creates their greatest happiness. They are not responsible to me nor for living my life over again. They are free to be themselves. In this manner, I avoid being disappointed while reveling in our many shared experiences and celebrating our differences.
No comments:
Post a Comment