Is being normal something desirable? The very meaning of the word is derived from finding norms and making them standards or pars to shoot for. Setting a norm is done by researching a matter through a large number of people and coming to a numerical mean representing the most often encountered approach to such a matter. It's all very clinical or scientific, but not very personal.
Since norms are found through numbers, you would expect the mathematical explanation of the term to be clear and precise. Which I suppose it is. Here is the mathematician's meaning of norm; you decide:
Norm - a real-valued, nonnegative function whose domain is a vector space, with properties such that the function of a vector is zero only when the vector is zero, the function of a scalar times a vector is equal to the absolute value of the scalar times the function of the vector, and the function of the sum of two vectors is less than or equal to the sum of the function values of each vector. The norm of a real number is its absolute value.
Boy, you really said a mouthful, Mr. Math Man! And of course, a mathematician reading this will wonder why I am so mystified.
What I suppose I need to discuss here is actually the term, Social Norms. These still are devised through math but are usually made somewhat more easily understood, translated to English.
There is also an extensive, multi-linked write-up on the subject in Wikipedia, a bit of which I quote here: It is important to note that what is considered “normal” is relative to the location of the culture in which the social interaction is taking place
I need to break this down further by saying it is relative to a pin-point location of the micro-culture. Where I live, in a small village of fewer than 500 homes, the norms have been set mostly by "birds of a feather" caprice. The guideline of the 55 & older, senior community requirement naturally begins the process of refining the micro-culture, but then it is apparently influenced by those coming here and seeing others who are already living here, then feeling a comfort zone of sorts among the established residents. Or if that zone doesn't seem to offer comfort, there is less likelihood an offer to buy a home will be forthcoming.
In my Dec., 2011 post entitled Clear as Black and White, I mentioned some of the racial comments that are uttered around here. And I may have told about one individual who spoke to me as a realtor with the hope that I would do my part to make sure only our type of people moved to our village. Don't you wonder what he meant by that? Probably more than just racial prejudice was being hinted at in his appeal. He would undoubtedly love it if we could somehow direct our selling to only white, Christian, "straight," Republican, friendly folks. As I've indicated elsewhere, my sole desired pre-requisite would be the friendly part, but that would still go against ethical practice. If a curmudgeon wants to buy here, I will write the offer. Same goes for African Americans, Hispanics, Native Americans, Asians, Muslims, gays, lesbians, transvestites, atheists, and even Hoosiers! (This is my light-hearted claiming of the right of familiarity; my wife and I are from Indiana.)
But my point is, I would feel at least as much comfort around any of the types listed here (as long as they are friendly!), as I do around white, Christian, "straight," Republicans. Still I am forced to hide any personal thoughts at times - actually have to even keep quiet about my neutrality - or else my few sales here would drop to NO sales and I might be ousted from the men's golf club and/or any other activities of my community. This micro-culture has its set of norms, and other than being an old fart, I really don't fit within them. Shhhh! Keep my secret, please! I need to earn a living for another decade or so! Meanwhile, using casual joking as a shield, I toss off something about how much I would hate to be seen as normal, and all the folks accept me in good humor as one of their own type. One day, they may all find out that I am dead serious.
Normal? Who wants to be that guy?!
There is also an extensive, multi-linked write-up on the subject in Wikipedia, a bit of which I quote here: It is important to note that what is considered “normal” is relative to the location of the culture in which the social interaction is taking place
I need to break this down further by saying it is relative to a pin-point location of the micro-culture. Where I live, in a small village of fewer than 500 homes, the norms have been set mostly by "birds of a feather" caprice. The guideline of the 55 & older, senior community requirement naturally begins the process of refining the micro-culture, but then it is apparently influenced by those coming here and seeing others who are already living here, then feeling a comfort zone of sorts among the established residents. Or if that zone doesn't seem to offer comfort, there is less likelihood an offer to buy a home will be forthcoming.
In my Dec., 2011 post entitled Clear as Black and White, I mentioned some of the racial comments that are uttered around here. And I may have told about one individual who spoke to me as a realtor with the hope that I would do my part to make sure only our type of people moved to our village. Don't you wonder what he meant by that? Probably more than just racial prejudice was being hinted at in his appeal. He would undoubtedly love it if we could somehow direct our selling to only white, Christian, "straight," Republican, friendly folks. As I've indicated elsewhere, my sole desired pre-requisite would be the friendly part, but that would still go against ethical practice. If a curmudgeon wants to buy here, I will write the offer. Same goes for African Americans, Hispanics, Native Americans, Asians, Muslims, gays, lesbians, transvestites, atheists, and even Hoosiers! (This is my light-hearted claiming of the right of familiarity; my wife and I are from Indiana.)
But my point is, I would feel at least as much comfort around any of the types listed here (as long as they are friendly!), as I do around white, Christian, "straight," Republicans. Still I am forced to hide any personal thoughts at times - actually have to even keep quiet about my neutrality - or else my few sales here would drop to NO sales and I might be ousted from the men's golf club and/or any other activities of my community. This micro-culture has its set of norms, and other than being an old fart, I really don't fit within them. Shhhh! Keep my secret, please! I need to earn a living for another decade or so! Meanwhile, using casual joking as a shield, I toss off something about how much I would hate to be seen as normal, and all the folks accept me in good humor as one of their own type. One day, they may all find out that I am dead serious.
Normal? Who wants to be that guy?!
I've found that being judged "normal" usually entails keeping one's mouth shut at strategic moments. That isn't easy for me to do at times.
ReplyDeleteI tend to be the outspoken type. Thomas Dexter of Lynn Massachusetts was regarded as outspoken back in the sixteen hundreds. Add some McCoy and some other ornery yankee families to the genetic mix, and nothing has changed where I'm concerned.
I'm thankful for blogging to allow me to vent once in awhile.